GinA's Beginning

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My Passion for Peaceful Change and Evolution

I don’t remember the month or day, but it must have been a weekend morning in late spring or early summer of 1972 because I remember the morning being warm enough to go outside without a coat or shoes into the front yard of our new home which was still naked rocky gravel without any grass.

I was 3 years old and my parents were fighting, again, like they did every day. 

I have often wondered, even at that young age,  why they were together because they didn’t appear to like each other very much, they never hugged or kissed each other , and they very rarely had any peaceful conversations.

I often wonder how they created my brother and me because they didn’t appear to love each other so I wonder how they managed to have sex, at least twice, to create their two children. 

My mother told me she got pregnant in 1966 with my older brother the first time she had sex, which happened to be with my father.

My mother has repeatedly told me she never wanted children but only surrendered to the idea because that is what “good catholic wives” are expected to do when they get married and have sex with their husbands. 

My mother’s father, who was a perverted roman catholic who molested many (all?) of his daughters, told her that she was required to marry the first man she has sex with, so she did, even though she admits never having any affection or attraction for my father.

My father pursued my mother so persistently, and stubbornly, that my mother’s resistance failed and she eventually caved to my father’s tyranny only to be enslaved to it for the next 14 years in her attempt to escape her father’s tyrannical religious pedophilic behaviors.

On this particular day in 1972 my parents had been married for about 5 years and had recently bought our first new home at 76 Stevens Road in Augusta Maine. 

The house was a brand new split-level ranch with large front and back yards with a snowmobiling and ice-skating field out front across the road (that belonged to Lapointe Lumber Company) and ice skating pond out back in a field inaccessible by automobiles.

It was a children’s neighborhood.

I don’t remember what my parents were fighting about, again, because they fought about everything. In my house if it was quiet it was because one of my parents were gone or sleeping. They usually never had a positive word for each other or a loving gesture toward anyone in the family. They were both consumed with anger and hatred for each other which completely poisoned every moment of our lives.

On this particular morning, when I was about 3 years old, I could no longer tolerate my parents screaming and throwing things at each other like they did on a daily basis, so I left the house and walked out into my front yard with tears streaming down my face and a heaviness in my heart.

I looked up into the sky, spoke out loud and asked, “God, is this what life is like down here on Earth because this really fucking sucks!”

Yes, I used those words and had those thoughts at 3 years old.

Even in 1972 I had an uninhibited spirit and I knew what was truly important in “life on Earth”.

I am still trying to figure out where that ‘knowledge’ comes from, but so far I have to give full credit to my intuition and twisted wisdom. 

God never answered me on that morning in my front yard, or never gave me a direct answer that I remember; all I recall next is making a verbal pledge and solemn vow to leave the world in a better condition than when I found it in 1968. 

I often reminisce about that moment in my front yard with clarity and a sense of great purpose which has fueled my passion to change the world in any positive way I can before I leave.

My digital autobiography will be an ongoing record of my life which will be comprised from my photos, videos, audios, emails, legal documents, medical records and psychiatric progress notes, personal diary entries and any other reproducible file relevant to the story of my life.

If you have any questions about what you see, hear or read on my website, or simply want more details about a certain event in my life, please don’t hesitate to drop me an email or find me online.

I hope my story inspires you to live your life with more passion, purpose and peace.

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