Email to My Father and Step-Mother, March 25, 2003

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I didn’t leave a message because I had too much to say to leave on the voicemail. 

Our relationship, at times, is very unhealthy and dysfunctional and the way you and I relate to each other causes my mood to escalate and my anxiety goes through the roof. Unfortunately, I have found that my relationship with you needs modification in the way I deal with you and the way I allow you to deal with me. I am an adult now, and although you seem to think I need to “grow up and take responsibility”, that’s exactly what I am doing but apparently you don’t see it. The problem I discuss most with my counselors is that I feel overly responsible for things that happen… the way OTHER people feel, think and behave… I always think it has something to do with me or the way I caused them to feel, think, behave, etc…  but I’m learning that people have to be responsible for their own choices, actions, feelings and thoughts and I have to stop thinking that they are somehow my fault or responsibility… you don’t make this task an easy one… especially when you tell me things that you know in your heart are not true… it only adds to the heavy baggage I already carry with me. 

As much as I want you involved in my life, I need to limit that contact and restrict what I allow you to advise me about. I know that probably hurts you but I am hurt when you choose to not see where I’ve grown and healed so now I need to put up healthy boundaries with you. It’s all in the parent-child dynamics… something I know you are already aware of… 

So, anyway, Kevin and I have worked through our major obstacles and we have decided its time for me to go home and continue living my life from Readfield. I have been back to work since early February, temporary, part-time, and am actively seeking permanent full-time work which will probably be awhile before that happens… but I’m doing well mentally and emotionally and feel prepared to dive back into life with Kevin and see where it takes us. 

I’ve been spending several hours every week with Jenna and that is going exceptionally well, finally… since I started dealing better with my anger about this whole sordid mess, she and I started relating better… it’s funny how damaging anger can be to one’s life… 

Dad, I love you very much and respect you, for the most part… I only hope you will think about the ways you contribute to the anger you and I feel toward each other and what you think you can do to change your part of that equation. I certainly am working on making a better relationship with not only you, but mom, Jenna, Kevin and everyone else in my life. 

Don’t be a stranger. 

Love always, 


  -----Original Message-----

From:         joeraye [mailto:]

Sent:          Monday, March 24, 2003 7:25 PM


Subject:     RE: Hello...


There was nothing on the caller id...  

Why didn't you leave a message?  I was told to leave you alone so that's what I've been doing.  Glad everything is going well.  Love you.  Dad



-----Original Message-----

From:                      Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]

Sent:                      Monday, March 24, 2003 1:57 PM

To:  Joe & Raye Turcotte

Subject:                Hello...


I tried calling twice the other day but you weren’t home. I thought maybe you’d return my call but you didn’t. Am writing to let you know that you’ll need to call me at Kevin’s from now on… I’m moving back to Readfield. I’m doing well, Jenna and I are doing well and Kevin and I are finally on track. Life seems to be picking up. Hope all is well with you. 




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