Email from My Step-Mother, March 3, 2006

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 

Letting him be a parent as well as provider were my words, not his. ... 

Raye

 

Raye J. Turcotte, Eaton Peabody, 77 Sewall Street, Augusta, Maine 04330.  Telephone: 207 622-3747 - fax 207-622-9732.

This electronic message transmission contains information from the law firm of Eaton Peabody, P.A. which may be confidential or privileged. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents of this information is prohibited.  If you have received this electronic transmission in error, please notify us by telephone (207-622-3747) or by electronic mail () immediately. 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 11:00 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: An additional thought...

I’m not sure if Dad realizes this yet but I turned 37 in December… I don’t need a “parent” anymore… I’ve done quite a good job building myself up and getting healthy without a supportive parent figure my entire life… My mother and father were excellent “providers”, which is not necessarily synonymous with “parent”… Parents BUILD their children’s esteem – they don’t DESTROY it through the use of verbal abuse, emotional unavailability and persistent judgmental attitudes… I don’t need their judgments or parentage anymore… I need their understand and acceptance for Who I Am, regardless if they like it (me) or not… 

 

Gina

From: Turcotte, Raye [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:54 AM
To: Gina L. Turcotte
Subject: RE: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh....

Dear Gina, Sorry I couldn't do more than listen for both of you.  Maybe time is the only healer here.  I'll ge praying that things work out in the future.  In the meantime, let me know how you are doing from time to time.  I'm only an e-mail away. 

Love you. 

Raye

 

Raye J. Turcotte, Eaton Peabody, 77 Sewall Street, Augusta, Maine 04330.  Telephone: 207 622-3747 - fax 207-622-9732.

This electronic message transmission contains information from the law firm of Eaton Peabody, P.A. which may be confidential or privileged. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents of this information is prohibited.  If you have received this electronic transmission in error, please notify us by telephone (207-622-3747) or by electronic mail () immediately. 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:31 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: RE: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh....

No, thank you… I’m all set with his help… Beginning right now, I refuse to ask him for anything ever again… I’m done… I find more comfort in my new friends from the internet than I ever have with my entire family… it’s very sad but soooo very true… 

Thank you, Raye, for being my middleman once again… Dad refuses to grow up so I refuse to tolerate his juvenile and abrasive ways… He’s destructive… and I can’t have that in my life… He might understand some day if he ever chooses to open his mind and see the reality of how his asshole-ness provokes reactions from people, including me… 

Raye, he WASN’T asking me questions or making suggestions… Geeeeeees… you know how he gets and it wasn’t “asking” anything… it was name-calling and derogatory slander… is this how YOUR father treated you?? I DOUBT it… But yet you seem to continue to condone and make excuses for his behavior… I refuse to play that game with him any longer… He can be without me for all I care… At this point in my life, I don’t need this crap and if I allow it to permeate my life I will end up back in the hospital and it won’t be “kevin’s fault” (as Dad says)… it will be Dad’s… and possibly Mom’s too… and DEFINITELY mine cuz I ALLOWED it to occur… I can guarantee you that will NEVER happen to me again… I don’t care who I need to eliminate from my life in order to maintain my health… I’m only hoping Dad will realize this before its too late… and that point of no return is approaching swiftly… 

Instead of condoning and making excuses for his behavior maybe you should tell him all the things you know are true about his behaviors and tell him that he is pushing me away and before too long he IS going to lose me… I’ve been saying this for sooooooooo many years now and the iron curtain is climbing higher and getting thicker… He has the power to change that but he chooses not to… His choice, not mine… But I do have a choose what to allow in my life and that type of attitude is something I refuse to allow into my life any longer, regardless of who it is coming from… 

Enough of my diatribe, however valid and authentic… I’m done, Raye… If he wants to call and chat, fine… but he can keep his money.. I don’t want it… 

Luv, 

Gina 


From: Turcotte, Raye [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 10:04 AM
To: Gina L. Turcotte
Subject: RE: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh.... 

Hi, I just spoke with him and told him what you said. He is a frustrated as you are and totally upset.  He is still willing to help you if you call him.  It is hard for me to see the two of you hurting.  

If Jenna needed money from you, I think you would expect to be able to ask her questions and suggest alternatives.  He just needs to be able to be a parent as well as an occasional provider.  

I hope you call him.  He is fixing to deliver his trailer to Joe, so you might need to call his cell  if he doesn't answer our home phone. 

Give it some more thought, honey, and have faith in the sweet dad you know.  

Love you, 

Raye

 

Raye J. Turcotte, Eaton Peabody, 77 Sewall Street, Augusta, Maine 04330.  Telephone: 207 622-3747 - fax 207-622-9732.

This electronic message transmission contains information from the law firm of Eaton Peabody, P.A. which may be confidential or privileged. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents of this information is prohibited.  If you have received this electronic transmission in error, please notify us by telephone (207-622-3747) or by electronic mail () immediately. 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 9:32 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: RE: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh....

Raye, 

I DO realize that Dad loves me… in his own sick and twisted way… And I try to accept what he is able to offer me (which is not much in the realm of emotional support)… I had a 2nd conversation with him after I sent you that email… Arrrrrrrgh!! I tolerated his abrasiveness once again and then asked him what his role was in our unpleasant interactions… He denied that he had ANY role!!! Oh my god!! This is what I keep talking about… The ENTIRE conversation with him I was calm, cool and very very collected… Never once raised my voice with him, nor was I disrespectful with my words or tone… I made a POINT of not being rude or negative but it didn’t freakin’ matter… 

Raye, I dunno what to do about him… I guess I just need to create more distance from him in order to retain/maintain my newly found sanity… I can’t, and won’t, allow this kind of energy into my life any longer… It’s destructive for me, my emotional health and my life overall… I’m not going down that path again… Not with Kevin, not with Dad, not with anybody who treats me that way… Dad feels that ever since I met Kevin dad’s and my relationship has deteriorated… I disagree but also agree… 

I disagree because it’s actually gotten better in a way… Its’ gotten better because I am able to deal with him effectively and rationally without letting him cause me to have a hysterical crying fit as I used to have… However, it is deteriorated because Kevin showed me that I didn’t need to tolerate that kind of treatment… not from Kevin, not from Dad and not from anybody! This is something Dad is struggling with because he can no longer interact with me the way that he is comfortable… it’s not comfortable for me and I won’t do it anymore… I can’t!! 

So, on that note, please call Dad asap and tell him that I decline his help… I will buy my own food with my own money… Thank you anyway… I hope your house hunting results are what you desire… 

All my love, 

Gina


From: Turcotte, Raye [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 9:09 AM
To: Gina L. Turcotte
Subject: RE: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh.... 

Dear Gina, He has not called me...sorry about the bad conversation you had with him.  We are currently waiting to hear if our offer has been accepted on a house that is beautiful....we are going to need every cent we can get if they accept the offer because we haven't sold our house yet..  we will be facing a blanket mortgage.. 

Sorry about the "Rayed" thing.  I thought you purposely turned my name into a verb and didn't know whether to be insulted or complimented.  Since you were being so sweet, I decided it was a compliment.  Your dad took it as an insult.  Neither of us thought you could make typo, but now that you mention it, spellcheck does things like that. 

I hope you find a solution and that you realize he does love you too. 

Love, 

Raye

 

Raye J. Turcotte, Eaton Peabody, 77 Sewall Street, Augusta, Maine 04330.  Telephone: 207 622-3747 - fax 207-622-9732.

This electronic message transmission contains information from the law firm of Eaton Peabody, P.A. which may be confidential or privileged. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents of this information is prohibited.  If you have received this electronic transmission in error, please notify us by telephone (207-622-3747) or by electronic mail () immediately. 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 8:53 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: Dad!! Arrrrrgghhh....

Just spoke with Dad… I dunno why I continue to torture myself by asking for his help… and why the hell does he offer his help if he doesn’t really wanna give it… he just does it cuz he feels obligated… well, Raye, as much as I luv him, I’m not interested in dealing with that hypocrisy… Don’t need it in my life… I’d rather get behind on my rent than tolerate his disrespect and verbal abuse… 

Tell him thank you but no thank you… I’ll take care of myself… 

Luv you… 

Gina 

 

P.S. the “rayed” in the previous email was a typo that my spellcheck caused… it apparently didn’t like your name… dad made a point of mildly bitching me out for that… so, here’s my official explanation… 

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.