Email from My Step-Mother, October 7, 2004

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I sent it to him. 

Have a great evening. 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 4:18 PM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: RE: Pics from Aunt Cindy's 

Yes, but I spoke w/him this afternoon already. Share if u like! 

Love,

Me 

“I did what I knew how to do and when I knew better, I did better.”  - Maya Angelou 

"I'm doing what I know how to do. When I know better, I'll do better." - Gina Turcotte 

Life is a rollercoaster ride. Get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on!!! Enjoy the ride... 


From: Turcotte, Raye [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 4:12 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Pics from Aunt Cindy's 

Hi Gina, 

Nice to hear from you and about your work and school going so well.  Not happy to hear about Jena’s decision…  L

I have not had the pictures developed yet..  Will let you know when I do.  Is it okay to share your letter with your dad? 

Love, Raye 


From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 12:04 PM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: Pics from Aunt Cindy's 

Hey Raye!! 

Long time, no talk! Howahyah? 

Am looking to see if you were able to get the pics from Tammy’s daughter’s birthday party burned onto a CD after you had them developed. If you have, would you let me know so I can upload them from the CD onto my computer? Am excited to see how they came out… 

Life here is Good! I am working different hours throughout the day/week in order to compensate for being unavailable during my class times. I worked from 4p-Midnight yesterday… It’s nice, actually, cuz once the kiddies go to bed around 8, and after I finish my work, I can use the rest of my shift to do schoolwork… Cleared it w/supervisors and they gave me the thumbs up!! Killing 2 birds w/one stone… and I get paid to study! How much better can it get? hehehe   It actually makes sense because after the shift work is done, there’s nothing for anyone to do except watch TV or read… All we need to do for the kiddies is keep ears on/eyes on in case they leave their bedrooms or have difficulty throughout the night. The nature of this job is simply described: PARENTING!!  That’s what we are, essentially. We are surrogate parents responsible for Un-Doing what their parents did to them… These kids have some horrific stories to tell… Hearing simple details makes my stomach churn… My heart simply breaks for these kids. Am working on maintaining professional boundaries with them. They’re very manipulative and will use any boundary-crossing against me at some future point. Already been warned by staff. But, these kids are sooo intelligent, and kind, when they’re not challenged by the results of their negative childhood experiences. I’m going to be great at this job. Just doing what I do best!! Can’t wait to establish a relationship with these kids – something they’ll be able to hold onto the rest of their lives. That’s my goal… To leave an indelible, positive mark on their hearts and souls. What better reward could one have for working? Gotta Love It! 

School got off to a bumpy start, as usual. But I’m catching up… Am dedicated to making the Dean’s List again this semester… Time will tell! My classes are Addiction and the Family, Social Problems, and Group Process. I started out with 4 classes, and 2 jobs, but I am now down to 3 classes, and 1 job. I decided, for the better, that I was taking on too much with everything I thought I would have to do, so I minimized my stress level by eliminating some unnecessary tasks. Am very glad I did. 3 classes and 1 job is more than enough to handle for anyone. Love my classes and have noticed I have a very solid foundation which is already helping me get caught up with assignments. 

Jenna has recently decided that she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. This occurred this past weekend because she says that she and I argue more than is comfortable for her. We don’t fight anymore; we simply argue like most parents/teenagers do… but the arguments have bothered Jenna such that she would rather live away from me and maintain the great relationship we still have than to stay here with me and get angrier and angrier. That would not be productive… She said she loves me too much to allow our relationship to deteriorate like hers and Mom’s did when she lived out there. I was so impressed by her maturity, love, and devotion to me, that I found it impossible to deny her request. So she is now living with her girlfriend who lives on the same street as us, only about 10 houses up. The friend’s mother said Jenna could stay as long as she feels the need. I asked Jenna what it was about me that she had difficulty with. She told me that me simply BE-ing ME (bold, outgoing, obnoxious, etc.) pisses her off but she doesn’t expect me to change because she knows that is just Who I Am. She spoke very eloquently to me when she explained why she wanted to live elsewhere. She’s definitely a Chip Off the Old Block!!  Hehehe Gotta Love Her! 

So, I am now living alone with my cats at the apartment, which I will be vacating when my lease expires in March. Regardless if Jenna is home w/me or not, I’m going to either find another apt, a house for me and Jenna, or move back to Readfield (only if Jenna is still living elsewhere)… Yes, Kevin and I are still working on our stuff… Boy, this never ends, does it?? Raye, I simply don’t want to give up on us. We’ve come so far it’s foolish for either of us to walk away… But we still are not a couple; we are still dating other people. There are things that we need to discuss, and resolve, before we decide in which direction our lives are moving. We’re heading to Boston this weekend for another spirituality retreat. We’ll be gone for 4 days, Fri – Mon, and will be discussing the fate of our “coupledom” at the end of the retreat. 

He’s change dramatically since the last retreat we attended. He’s not the same man he was 2 months ago. He’s lost about 15 lbs., has started eating better, sleeping more (from 2 hrs/night before to 6-7 hrs/night now) and he’s feeling happy now. He always allowed himself, before, to wallow in the misery of his own experiences (the train accident, his upbringing, etc.) but the last retreat helped him to let go and be happy. Incredible transformation! I love him so much! Now I know why you stay with Dad… if Dad would only work harder, more diligently, on his anger issues… You’d never even THINK about leaving him if he did… Right?? Right! 

So, that’s my life du jour. Hope all is well on the home front. 

Gina 

“I did what I knew how to do and when I knew better, I did better.”  - Maya Angelou 

"I'm doing what I know how to do. When I know better, I'll do better." - Gina Turcotte 

Life is a rollercoaster ride. Get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on!!! Enjoy the ride...  

 

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