Email from My Step-Mother, February 12, 2004

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Amen. J 

-----Original Message-----
From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 10:29 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: RE: Dad...

No need to apologize. Yes, I have suffered greatly throughout my life but it has given me a basis on which to create the rest of my life, my daughter’s life, and my married life with Kevin. It (the abuse) also gave me the motivation to NOT live that way and has shaped how my life is now, and will be in the future; so, as painful as it was, I appreciate that it happened because without that experience I would not be who I am today and that’s reason to give thanks. 

Love you too…  

Gina 


Sorry to put you through the explanation.  That is so sad… for all of you.  I am so glad you are all healing now.  Thank you, Gina.  

-----Original Message-----
From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 10:13 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: RE: Dad... 

I don’t know what you know about Dad and the way he raised me and Joe, but… he was physically, emotionally, and verbally violent with us throughout the course of our lives. Additionally, he was selfish with his time, energies and emotions. He wasn’t “there” for us the way we needed him to be… he was too busy working, and fighting with Mom, that he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. 

Monday, he verbally acknowledged, and apologized for, his violent actions. We even spoke specifically about the different types of abuse I endured at his hand. I want to also point out that Mom was violent as well, only she was more critical, emotionally absent and cold than violent. 

I know Dad feels terrible about the things he did… He tried to explain to me why he was so angry and violent but he didn’t need to because I have experienced it first-hand with Jenna… How the adrenaline can start pumping through your veins when you’re irritated and there seems to be no way out until it’s too late and you see the horror on your child’s face. 

So, the fact that Dad faced his demon head-on, and fully verbally acknowledged this to me, gave me cause for pause and forgiveness. Like I said previously, all he had to do was tell me what he did, why he did it and how he feels now about it. Now I can move on and forgive him. 

I know this story may seem difficult for you to understand but it is all true. I would never fabricate such a horrible story about my father unless it was true. 

So that’s my reflection for the day.  

Gina


Dear Gina – This is the best letter I have ever received from you.  You made your dad happy that day too.  I’m very glad for both of you and I hope that the future is just what you wish for. Everytime you refer to abuse, it bothers me because there are so many forms of abuse.  Is there something I should know? 

Love you.  Raye 

-----Original Message-----
From: Gina L. Turcotte [mailto:]
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 8:37 AM
To: Turcotte, Raye
Subject: Dad... 

Hey Raye. 

I’m sooooo glad I contacted Dad. We talked for 4 hours Monday and I discovered things about him that I never, ever would have guessed about him. One thing that especially surprises me about him is his sense of spirituality… Because of his anger I would never have guessed that he feels the way he does about God, Heaven and the meaning of Life… Interesting!! 

I’m hopeful, and very optimistic, that he and I can now move on and create a mutually respectful relationship. I knew he had it in him, he just needed to open up to me and tell me the things I’ve been needing to hear… his apologies for the abuse I endured growing up… Now I can let it all go, and move on with a better perspective about him and life with him. 

Thank you for loving Dad as much as you do. He IS a good man and I’m looking forward to learning more about him. 

Love,  

Gina 

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